Reflections on a Wedding
By: Dan Seale
The music began to play, Debbi stood up and family and friends followed her lead. Emme slipped her arm in mine and we stepped through the arched hedge and began the joyful procession down the grassy aisle toward her fiancé, Ian. My eyes locked on Ian to see how he responded to his first look at his bride in her wedding dress. Yes, I am bias, but Emme was a stunning bride and Ian clearly thought so too. He was visibly moved by her beauty and by the moment. When we ended our procession, I took Emme’s hand, placed it in Ian’s, symbolizing my handing off my role as father in providing and caring for her and entrusting her to his care as her husband. I then kissed her and told her I loved her and slid into my role as wedding officiant. I could go on and on but let me get to my reflection.
Saturday reminded me afresh that my favorite moment in the wedding ceremony is that initial moment when the groom sees the bride in her beauty. I love when the groom gets weak in the knees, when tears begin to flow, when the smile almost breaks his face because he is so happy. I love that moment because of the rush of emotion but also because it helps me think about how Jesus looks at His bride, the church. While it often takes significant time for brides to get prepared to walk the aisle, the church walks the aisle in a torn wedding dress, covered in the stain of our sin. We are unable to clean ourselves up and to make ourselves beautiful, but Jesus, the bridegroom, gazes upon His bride with delight, having rescued and redeemed her through his atoning work on the cross.
Almost everywhere we hear and feel the countless ways we do not measure up. The Gospel reminds us that we are accepted and made right, loved and valued, not because of how pretty we are, how accomplished we are, how good we are or any other measurement. We are loved because of God’s good pleasure and made one with God through the work of Jesus.
Weddings should remind us of the loving affectionate gaze of Jesus upon His bride whom he loved sacrificially, unconditionally, and selflessly.
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish
Scripture commands us to fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God (Hebrews 12:2). But as we fix our eyes on Jesus, imagine the wedding day gaze of the groom on His bride.
In the book, Gentle and Lowly by Dane Ortlund, Ortlund seeks to help us see the very heart of Jesus as revealed through Scripture. He speaks to this loving affection in a way that compliments Paul’s marriage illustration.
The point in saying that Jesus is lowly is that he is accessible. For all his resplendent glory and dazzling holiness, his supreme uniqueness and otherness, no one in human history has ever been more approachable than Jesus Christ. No prerequisites. No hoops to jump through…Jesus Christ’s desire that you find rest, that you come in out of the storm, outstrips even your own.
My second favorite part of the ceremony is when I get to introduce the new couple as husband and wife – Mr. and Mrs. Ian and Emme Buff. There is a new identity for these two individuals who are now a couple, husband and wife. The two have begun their life as one flesh. In a similar way as we are united to Jesus by faith, we have a new name and a new identity as well. This rich truth is the reality of our union with Christ (Galatians 2:20, John 15, Colossians 3:1-4)
Tonight, as you drift off to sleep, use your holy imagination, and see the church, the bride of Christ walking down the aisle and look at the face of Jesus, the groom, beaming for his blood bought, grace soaked, beloved.